Contrary to popular belief, tantric sex is not kinky business. The basic goal of tantric sex is that there is none, and the only point is to connect deeply and spiritually with your partner. The climax or orgasm itself is not the priority; instead, the journey of exploration, learning about each other and building a stronger, more intimate relationship is paramount.
You need lots of time:
Tantric sex does not mean that you have to make love for hours. “Instead, enlightenment and having
a reverence for your partner that lasts beyond the length of any orgasm is at the core of the teachings,” say Mark A Michaels and Patricia Johnson in their book Tantric Sex Made Simple. “It’s funny that a comment Sting made over 20 years ago still has an enduring hold on the public’s imagination. He’s tried to explain it away in various ways. At one point, he said that he regretted making the statement and didn’t really feel he could talk about the subject beyond saying that his wife, Trudy, is his church. That’s much closer to what the spirit of tantric sex is all about. It’s certainly got nothing
to do with bragging about staying power.”
You need to be flexible:
The idea behind tantric sex is to fuse the male body, mind and soul. This can be achieved by controlling your breathing, while your partner controls his, making love in certain positions so that you are face to face and looking at each other, and stimulating one another to prolong the whole sexual process.
It seeks to not only reach the ultimate level of pleasure by deferring both his and your orgasms, but also to become closer with your partner and understanding each others’ bodies better. The tantric approach has far more to do with your mental approach than with technique. Difficult positions are not
necessarily the key to tantric sex. “Concentrating on simple positions, which are enjoyable to both of
you, will help prolong the erection and contribute to escalate the pleasure further,” says Delhi-based
sexologist Dr Vinod Raina.
It’s for weirdos:
In their book, Mark and Patricia say, “Tantric sex has more to do with your attitude than anything else, so a simple shift in thinking is all it takes.” In India, not only are most women completely unaware of the concept of tantric sex, but are also worried there are stigmas attached to it. “Tantric sex seems like
an intriguing, if pretty out-there, concept to me,” says architect Hetal Punari. “I haven’t tried it only because I’m not entirely sure of what it is. Once I know all about it, I might be game.”
TRY THIS AT HOME
Mumbai-based sex counsellor Dr Uttam Dave shares some steps to get you started.
- Sit naked with your partner, cross-legged, surrounded by pillows. The room should be dark or dimly lit with candles. Play some soft music
- Look deep into each other’s eyes. Don’t stare, but look at him in a way to tell him that he’s wonderful.
- Breathe in sync.
- Keep your hands two inches from his body initially and receive the energy he is exuding. Then slowly exchange this energy and start touching and stimulating each other.
You need lots of time:
Tantric sex does not mean that you have to make love for hours. “Instead, enlightenment and having
a reverence for your partner that lasts beyond the length of any orgasm is at the core of the teachings,” say Mark A Michaels and Patricia Johnson in their book Tantric Sex Made Simple. “It’s funny that a comment Sting made over 20 years ago still has an enduring hold on the public’s imagination. He’s tried to explain it away in various ways. At one point, he said that he regretted making the statement and didn’t really feel he could talk about the subject beyond saying that his wife, Trudy, is his church. That’s much closer to what the spirit of tantric sex is all about. It’s certainly got nothing
to do with bragging about staying power.”
You need to be flexible:
The idea behind tantric sex is to fuse the male body, mind and soul. This can be achieved by controlling your breathing, while your partner controls his, making love in certain positions so that you are face to face and looking at each other, and stimulating one another to prolong the whole sexual process.
It seeks to not only reach the ultimate level of pleasure by deferring both his and your orgasms, but also to become closer with your partner and understanding each others’ bodies better. The tantric approach has far more to do with your mental approach than with technique. Difficult positions are not
necessarily the key to tantric sex. “Concentrating on simple positions, which are enjoyable to both of
you, will help prolong the erection and contribute to escalate the pleasure further,” says Delhi-based
sexologist Dr Vinod Raina.
It’s for weirdos:
In their book, Mark and Patricia say, “Tantric sex has more to do with your attitude than anything else, so a simple shift in thinking is all it takes.” In India, not only are most women completely unaware of the concept of tantric sex, but are also worried there are stigmas attached to it. “Tantric sex seems like
an intriguing, if pretty out-there, concept to me,” says architect Hetal Punari. “I haven’t tried it only because I’m not entirely sure of what it is. Once I know all about it, I might be game.”
TRY THIS AT HOME
Mumbai-based sex counsellor Dr Uttam Dave shares some steps to get you started.
- Sit naked with your partner, cross-legged, surrounded by pillows. The room should be dark or dimly lit with candles. Play some soft music
- Look deep into each other’s eyes. Don’t stare, but look at him in a way to tell him that he’s wonderful.
- Breathe in sync.
- Keep your hands two inches from his body initially and receive the energy he is exuding. Then slowly exchange this energy and start touching and stimulating each other.
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